you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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