you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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