If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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