i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
