dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
