When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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