She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
