I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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