I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
