11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
