I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
