shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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