how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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