Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
