would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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