whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
false alarm, still single
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
