He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
