I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
