Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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