we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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