is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
