What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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