White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
