dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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