Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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