How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize