Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I didn't notice because vodka
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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