i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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