I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
