Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
