South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
that may or may not have been my penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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