don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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