I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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