How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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