I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
