"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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