i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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