Where did you get a picture of my penis
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
