I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
