my mouth tastes like poor choices
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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