Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
