oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
