Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
