I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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