How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize