Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
