All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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