i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
40s are totally the cure
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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