so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
