I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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