You smell like stripper and shame
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
