Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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