He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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