when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What a dumb baby whore.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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