YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am one with the molecules
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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