Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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