DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
