Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
