Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
