Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
