HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize