my sisters under your porch take her home
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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