I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
