ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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