So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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