i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
