I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize