some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
