Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
