i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
