You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
