This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
